Daily thoughts and updates:
Currently at: 29 Palms, MCCES, MCAGCC
It's been a while since i've updated but i guess i have a reason to now, doing the coding by hand now since my frontpage is messed up and the files need to be replaced.
It's been a while since i've been on my own homepage, Class 10, 11, and 12 graduated, and i've been home for 2 weeks. and i'm... as always learning about myself.
Evening, I wonder when I'll make it known that this page is here. But no matter what it doesn't matter anymore, I've been to secret in my life, to hidden, and what has that gotten me? many nights alone in the dark. so following the advice of many people, I have changed before I have to, but i'm still the same rock i've always been. I often say "I'm the best there is" but do I believe that? No not really, there will always be someone better then me and better then him. One thing i've learned is that life never gets easier. But of course everyone knows that, but whats life without problems? I've poured my life into my work. I'm not top man in my class, but i'm up there, with a 90 something, thats not to bad. and I intend to stay up there. I tutor people in my class every chance I get. It makes me happy, during a time that's not easy on me, but then again life never does.
It's 12:45 here... I just finished a 5 hour brief, about rape, drugs and, drinking and driving. It was boring, but... I dunno. It added something to me, but in the end it also took something away. My life is no longer my own. I've said that many times before. But it's true, my ass belongs to the Corps and I believe that. Now I have a lot of pride and honor in me and it bothers me and the people around me. Why do you ask? Because of who I've become. I am a man of honor, I always have been, but I am a gentleman at most. Its hard. I will not do anything that feels wrong. I'm not saying I'm perfect but I do follow what I believe is right. This trend has made me hanging out with some people here harder on me, such as LCpl Smith who always wants to drink. It offends my sense of responsibility, since he has already been told once about drinking underage. Then there is the general thing about titty bars. It's not my style to go to those things. I just don't see how I can spend my money that way. But hey it's good money and they make more then me, we all make our choices. And I made mine awhile ago, to be a Marine, it wasn't for money, education, or anything like that, as I've said I did it to add to who I am, a gentleman and Knight. It's going a bit far I suppose, the way I act, but I am an altruistic guy and thats all I know how to be.
I don't know, it's been a long time since I
could forget who I am, and be happy. But I am, I guess it's because of the things I need
to do. I finally have goals in my life. Hopes and dreams to fulfill. One of them is to be
more honest and open, now that I am a Marine, what more do I have to fear? I've earned my
right and my title of US Marine. So I've got a few missions to complete before this month
is over. So pretty soon a few people are going to find out a few things about
Now about class, PFC Dimino has been dropped from class due to the fact he will be going to OCS. So Class 10 is again 24 students. I am #6 in the class, that's... ok, I could do better yeah, but a 89 isn't bad either. What I normally do is help others, so I do believe I'll get the Warrior award for my class, that would make my day.
The first week of class is over, we have 24 Students, dropped PFC Atwater, picked up Cpl Perez... only to pick up PFC Atwater again to bring us up to 25 students in class 10. Class is hard, that stuff I said about 2 ch and 2 tests a day is true, and Sgt Daniels loves to run, we don't. I'm not over weight but I'm not going to be happy till I lose 11 pounds and keep it off before I pick up LCpl, but I have 2 months.
I've finally started class, I am BEC Class 10. SSgt Watson, and Sgt Daniels as my teachers. BEC is not an easy class, 2 chapters a day and 2 tests a day... I wonder do any of you guys do anything like that. But it's only 3 months and is worth 11 Credits and when everything is done about a 60G a year job starting out. And I plan on putting all my energy into the class. I've got nothing else here, I've got no girl at home waiting for me, no hobbies here, and nothing really to focus on but being the best in class. That's what I'll be.
I'm still here on base, far far away from home. Chinese new year has passed. I have missed the only time in the year that my family is in one place. It's a pity. I kid around about the money but everyone knows it's not about that. I miss my family, I miss doing things. I guess what i really want to do is move on
I'm in MAT Plt still here, waiting, and waiting. nothing to do
but sit here. I finally brought my laptop in and started doing things. And now i finally
get to sit down and write my stories.
Let me tell you about 29 Palms... It's nickname is 29 stumps, and No there are NO trees out here... well... no trees that I would see at home, nothing but palm trees. There is also nothing but sand here. To someone like me who's from the city it's like the moon here. And I swear that those mountains are painted in like in the Truman show.
I'm having huge fits of nostalgia. Missing the past is starting to get to me. What my life was, who I was, and the things I thought and did.
My life has changed so much in the last few months, and so has the world. And again I don't allow myself to forget such things, I still dwell on things that I should move on from. it's not right. I've looked over some old files of advice some one once gave me, it reads. "you need some life-survival skills... you cannot survive like this. people will step on you like you're dirt, everyone in this society is ignorant, greedy, corrupt, etc... you cannot survive if you're going to be so nice-hearted" I have done basic Marine Corps training and I'm still the nice guy I was, am I? But I do have a better sense of who I am. I've worked hard to earn the title of Marine but is that all that I am? no, it was suppose to be an addition to who I am. that's why not active duty. I did not break in Bootcamp. I never wanted to, no one forced me to be an asshole, so I never became one. but it's true I still get walked on, but now I fight back, I see what I do wrong. how I can be come stronger in the heart and not be afraid. good night, rack time 2300(pac)