HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND THIS PAGE?!?
if you see this page, it records your IP and i will hunt you down.
6/8/00 -Yet again i've taken forever to write something on this page. I'm in spark finaly updating my homepage, i've been away far to long. and again alot has happend to me. So much so that i'm not sure of who i am any more. once again i'm fighting for my life. and again i feel alone, i feel that my life doesnt have any more worth, that i'm a failure at school and as a person. i'm not sure of what to do next. but i know i'll get passed it, i have to. and the cycle goes on, fire bird, and shadow knight. it never ends, and i keep falling into that pit. i need to find a way out and i need to do it soon. mmy time's running short, and i know not what to do abotu the people around me, other then just a watcher. i dont know if i have the heart i once had, i feel so alone, and i dont know what i can do about it other then just live.
4/11/00 -phah, ting likes someone else... and i dont have the heart to try, but promises must be kept. I need a date for the junior prom... and i dunno who to ask/take... i'll think of something.
2/12/00- well i havent written on this page for a hell of a long time... even tho alot has happened to me, I've passed all my classes, I'm closer to my cousins a lil bit, waiting to go to the poconoes with my friends, found someone else to put my heart into, Ting. problem is I'm losing faith in people. Mich is one of them, ever since she dropped out of highschool i found believe i failed to save her... and she's not the same person when i first met her, she doesnt heed my warnings and such that. Other things bother me too... ever since i understood why i dont tell people much, not because i'm protecting them. but i am protecting myself... and i dont know what to do about that. my heart goes out for ting, because she's been always pushing me to be happy and trying to cheer me up... not many people have ever done that for me with out any reasons other then they need something from me... it feels odd. I'm not sure who I am anymore... and i dont know how am i going to find out... but maybe i can hold out a lil longer... and maybe some one else will save me this time
9/19/99- morning of my sister's b-day... i should have wrote about my b-day but it sucked... sure alot of people said happy b-day and i guess thats enuf... ah well... welcome bacck to work shadow knight john seto.
9/1/99 after hanging out with cindy and elliot i found it very hard to control my emtions feelings and thoughts for and about cindy. I also finshed my new book, starfighters of adumar, it really hit close to my heart... my body was in no shape to walk that much, it took alot out of me to hold my body and mind in one piece... to many ships are needed to hold my fleet as one I have also taken a new name, Maverick Lead.
8/25/99 So I'm putting up the codes i use maybe someone will find it or crack it... who know's...
A B C
D E F
G H I
J K L
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N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
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8/99 shit i have been a shadow for to long always where my friends cant see me yet knowing i'm always there for them when they needed, always waiting for the problems of others to come. waiting in the darkness for whatever happened :sigh: i thought i wouldnt have to be a shadow anymore... that i might have a future other then the darkness... that because i was happy that i wouldnt have to hide anymore... but that is over right now... i dont know if it will return... but i'll wait till i no longer dream... but right now i am a shadow once more
7/99 I miss being a kid... i dont really know what i have become anymore... i've become so wrapped into doing whats right and trying to be a knight, i'm losing who i am... at least parts of that once little loud mouth kid i once was... he was so happy then... now... i thought a part of him might come back... but things change and so has that... i dont blame others for what happends to me... i just bottle it and remember it... i rush head on into things so i can become immune to it later... it changes me... it makes me hurt less but it also takes some of my feelings away... i just wish i dont end up as a cold shell... but then again few of my wishes come true.
me and cindy... :sigh: easy come easy go
my best friend in the world, Rich Chow, aka RKC
my mom on the right, rich's mom on the left
my little sister ,
candy jen and lin i treat them like my sister
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